1 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:05,536 Ah, morning-- 2 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:08,695 Every 24 hours, the illusion of a brand-new start. 3 00:00:08,814 --> 00:00:10,820 And this one started off normal enough. 4 00:00:10,939 --> 00:00:12,283 Good morning, mom. 5 00:00:12,364 --> 00:00:13,248 Morning. 6 00:00:13,327 --> 00:00:14,979 You sleep okay? 7 00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:16,230 Actually, I did. 8 00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:19,546 Glad to hear it. I'm having cereal. 9 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:20,581 Can I get you anything? 10 00:00:20,663 --> 00:00:21,711 Hang on. 11 00:00:21,799 --> 00:00:23,109 A 5-line volley from Brick 12 00:00:23,181 --> 00:00:25,421 without reading, random change of subject, or whispering? 13 00:00:28,091 --> 00:00:29,698 Just what I thought. 14 00:00:29,785 --> 00:00:30,725 You're burning up. 15 00:00:30,796 --> 00:00:32,845 See, fever kind of mellows out Brick's quirks. 16 00:00:32,924 --> 00:00:36,231 The more normal he acts, the sicker he is. 17 00:00:36,342 --> 00:00:40,414 And that's what kicked off the Heck plague of 2011. 18 00:00:40,513 --> 00:00:42,386 Axl, keep your tongue dow-- 19 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:47,343 Uh-oh.I'm gonna throw up. 20 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:48,812 No, no, no! I just vacuumed. 21 00:00:48,898 --> 00:00:50,604 Here, in my hands. 22 00:00:52,361 --> 00:00:55,444 But this year was different than the plague of 2010. 23 00:00:55,541 --> 00:00:58,689 'Cause no matter how much snot I had to wipe, 24 00:00:58,778 --> 00:01:01,894 or barf I had to catch, there was a bright, shining light 25 00:01:01,988 --> 00:01:04,076 at the end of this mucousy tunnel... 26 00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:06,547 The royal wedding. 27 00:01:07,125 --> 00:01:10,008 I can't believe it's this Friday already. 28 00:01:10,087 --> 00:01:11,761 I still have so much to do-- 29 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,645 Watch the 2-hour special on Kate Middleton's hairdresser, 30 00:01:14,762 --> 00:01:17,312 the ** royal retrospective, 31 00:01:17,427 --> 00:01:18,982 really? You're still on that thing? 32 00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:22,169 "Thing"? Uh, is the super bowl just a thing? 33 00:01:22,263 --> 00:01:23,974 A thing people care about. 34 00:01:24,062 --> 00:01:27,569 This is the super bowl times a million, plus crowns, 35 00:01:27,659 --> 00:01:30,049 so nobody relapse, not this week. 36 00:01:30,136 --> 00:01:33,508 Frankie, I got some bad news for you. We're not British. 37 00:01:33,606 --> 00:01:35,405 Yeah, we won the civil war, so we don't have to care. 38 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,002 Look, I barely cared about our wedding. 39 00:01:39,073 --> 00:01:41,042 Tell me why this is such a big deal. 40 00:01:41,110 --> 00:01:42,237 What did this girl even do? 41 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,041 Hello? She landed a prince! 42 00:01:45,124 --> 00:01:46,628 That means she's the fairest in the land. 43 00:01:48,636 --> 00:01:51,754 She's arriving in a car as a commoner, 44 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,624 but she leaves in a carriage as a princess! 45 00:01:54,704 --> 00:01:56,261 Princess of what? 46 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,453 Seriously, is she even allowed to behead people? 47 00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:03,773 With Sue's friend carly also a casualty of the Heck plague, 48 00:02:03,866 --> 00:02:06,451 Sue found herself a new lunchtime companion. 49 00:02:06,552 --> 00:02:08,095 And remember, Mrs. Wojo 50 00:02:08,189 --> 00:02:10,646 is still looking for volunteers for the Orson cleanup. 51 00:02:10,743 --> 00:02:13,700 Already on the list. Still waiting for a call. 52 00:02:13,786 --> 00:02:16,177 Hey, fellow shuckers. Enjoying today's announcement? 53 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,619 Yep. I am. 54 00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:19,786 Want to be part of the shucker news team? 55 00:02:21,112 --> 00:02:22,340 I do. 56 00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:23,687 Well, come to anchor tryouts 57 00:02:23,791 --> 00:02:25,439 this Thursday in the av room. 58 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,239 I will. 59 00:02:32,187 --> 00:02:34,095 We interrupt your snack for a breaking bulletin. 60 00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:36,758 Sue Heck is gonna try out for the shucker news team. 61 00:02:36,838 --> 00:02:39,846 What do you think about that? Don't get your hopes up. 62 00:02:39,981 --> 00:02:42,152 Mike! I think Sue Heck 63 00:02:42,232 --> 00:02:44,589 will make a great addition to the shucker news team. 64 00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:46,538 And there you have it. Back to me. 65 00:02:48,047 --> 00:02:51,273 Can you believe it? I could be an anchor for the school news! 66 00:02:51,374 --> 00:02:52,597 Here, let me do a real headle. 67 00:02:53,659 --> 00:02:55,711 "Man found frozen in parking lot"! 68 00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:57,685 Oh, wait. I should read that sad. 69 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,245 "Man found frozen--" I can't! I'm too excited! 70 00:03:01,328 --> 00:03:02,713 I'm gonna go think of sad things 71 00:03:02,787 --> 00:03:05,226 and then practice in the mirror. Aah! 72 00:03:10,763 --> 00:03:13,572 Jimbo. 73 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:14,531 What? 74 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:23,207 Oh. Pretzel barrel's empty. Toss me a new one, will ya? 75 00:03:23,398 --> 00:03:24,944 Oh, we're not getting them anymore. 76 00:03:25,053 --> 00:03:26,299 What? 77 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:30,307 But I came up from the hole for a nice, crunchy pretzel. 78 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,111 Sorry. We're making cutbacks. Pretzels had to go. 79 00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:42,360 Uh, hey, winnie the pooh, there's nothing left in there. 80 00:03:44,305 --> 00:03:46,097 So you see the pacers game last night? 81 00:03:46,220 --> 00:03:47,502 Whatever, Mike. 82 00:03:53,845 --> 00:03:55,237 Brick. I need your help. 83 00:03:55,717 --> 00:03:57,029 But I got to go to the bathroom. 84 00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,171 Please? 85 00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,281 Okay, fine. 86 00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:03,591 I'm trying out for the school news, and I need your opinion. 87 00:04:03,703 --> 00:04:04,914 I don't think you should try out. 88 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,820 I mean on my delivery. Just watch. 89 00:04:10,144 --> 00:04:11,317 Ahem. "In sports, 90 00:04:11,399 --> 00:04:12,189 "the girls volleyball team 91 00:04:12,268 --> 00:04:14,937 "is hosting a cakewalk to raise money for uniforms-- 92 00:04:15,035 --> 00:04:17,264 "In other news-- The cafeteria reports-- 93 00:04:17,352 --> 00:04:20,262 Pizza Thursdays will be replaced by taco Thursdays." 94 00:04:21,551 --> 00:04:22,289 Well? 95 00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:25,741 I think you shouldn't try out. I'm already trying out, so stop saying that! 96 00:04:25,828 --> 00:04:29,261 Well, in that case, there's some things you could work on. 97 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,704 Wait. What things? 98 00:04:31,811 --> 00:04:35,139 Well, you're really stiff, so try to act more natural. 99 00:04:35,238 --> 00:04:36,807 Got it. 100 00:04:36,921 --> 00:04:39,191 And every time you said the letter "n" or "m," 101 00:04:39,296 --> 00:04:41,821 they sounded the same, so really enunciate. 102 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,492 Nuh. Muh. 103 00:04:43,715 --> 00:04:46,975 Okay, next. I mean, next. 104 00:04:47,114 --> 00:04:48,639 Couldn't hurt to smile more, either. 105 00:04:48,741 --> 00:04:52,217 Smile more, act natural... And what was the other thing? 106 00:04:52,303 --> 00:04:53,296 Enunciate. 107 00:04:53,405 --> 00:04:55,057 What was the first thing? 108 00:04:55,172 --> 00:04:59,429 Sue! Okay. Here's a mnemonic device to remember. 109 00:04:59,524 --> 00:05:01,079 "N" for "natural," 110 00:05:01,198 --> 00:05:05,069 "e" for "enunciate," "ws" for "winning smile." 111 00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:06,422 That spells "news." 112 00:05:06,675 --> 00:05:08,049 Nice! 113 00:05:08,163 --> 00:05:11,467 This just in, you may now go the bathroom. 114 00:05:15,979 --> 00:05:17,155 So the royal wedding was barreling down, 115 00:05:17,245 --> 00:05:19,405 and while they were polishing silver at Buckingham Palace, 116 00:05:19,521 --> 00:05:21,914 I was doing a few little preparations of my own. 117 00:05:22,007 --> 00:05:25,290 God. Axl, did you get this crap on the tv? 118 00:05:25,381 --> 00:05:26,665 It looks like mashed potatoes. 119 00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:28,814 Like when'd you ever make mashed potatoes? 120 00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:30,955 Knowing you, it's probably frosting. Heh. 121 00:05:33,169 --> 00:05:36,139 What'd you get from windsorware.com? 122 00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:37,685 Hey! 123 00:05:37,764 --> 00:05:39,008 Hey. That's for me. 124 00:05:39,086 --> 00:05:40,793 Come on. I don't go ripping open your stuff. 125 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:45,219 Oh, my God! A princess chick teacup? 126 00:05:45,308 --> 00:05:46,729 Okay. None of your beeswax. 127 00:05:46,816 --> 00:05:49,513 Mom ordered some douchey teacup for the royal wedding. 128 00:05:49,595 --> 00:05:52,213 What? Are you kidding me? What are we gonna do with that? 129 00:05:52,298 --> 00:05:54,273 Suppose it could hold guacamole. 130 00:05:54,376 --> 00:05:58,233 This is not for eating. It's about historical significance 131 00:05:58,326 --> 00:05:59,665 that's too complicated to explain, 132 00:05:59,752 --> 00:06:02,104 so just give me back my plate. 133 00:06:05,961 --> 00:06:07,923 Hey--wh--whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you really gonna put that there? 134 00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:10,878 I mean, I obviously don't care too much about how 135 00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:13,110 this house looks, but I got to draw the line somewhere. 136 00:06:13,196 --> 00:06:17,127 For your information, this is a commemorative collectible item 137 00:06:17,230 --> 00:06:19,586 of historical significance, 138 00:06:19,677 --> 00:06:21,591 that could one day pay for Axl's college. 139 00:06:21,694 --> 00:06:24,574 Oh, well, pardon me, mum. 140 00:06:24,702 --> 00:06:28,449 I'll put another shrimp on the Barbie. Yes... 141 00:06:28,559 --> 00:06:30,107 All right, Sue's college. 142 00:06:30,184 --> 00:06:33,893 Now here's something with historical significance, 143 00:06:33,972 --> 00:06:36,369 in case we want to go back and pinpoint the exact moment 144 00:06:36,456 --> 00:06:37,725 that you lost your mind. 145 00:06:37,823 --> 00:06:41,122 Okay, it's--it's a little bigger than I expected, but come on. 146 00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:43,894 It's not ostentatious. Hmm? 147 00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:48,391 Yo, yo! Flavor flav in the hizzouse! 148 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:58,734 Mike. 149 00:06:58,819 --> 00:06:59,762 We need to talk. 150 00:06:59,868 --> 00:07:01,273 Yeah, we do. Will somebody tell Irv 151 00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:03,592 to quit flicking his butts into the blasting caps? 152 00:07:03,681 --> 00:07:07,589 No, this is serious, Mike. Jim told us about the pretzels. 153 00:07:07,682 --> 00:07:10,133 What? You're here about pretzels? 154 00:07:10,183 --> 00:07:12,269 Let me tell you a little story, boss man, 155 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,454 about a dude named Chuck. 156 00:07:14,553 --> 00:07:16,704 He dropped out of high school to live free, 157 00:07:16,797 --> 00:07:18,474 but when his mom said he couldn't live free 158 00:07:18,534 --> 00:07:21,015 in her garage anymore, Chuck went to find a job. 159 00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:24,266 Chuck chose a quarry, a quarry with pretzels, 160 00:07:24,317 --> 00:07:27,353 but now there's no pretzels, just Chuck. 161 00:07:27,524 --> 00:07:29,023 He's Chuck. 162 00:07:29,577 --> 00:07:31,991 Yeah, I got that. Look, they're coming down on me to make cuts. 163 00:07:32,058 --> 00:07:36,184 Could have fired somebody, but no, I axed pretzels. 164 00:07:36,283 --> 00:07:39,034 Why? 'Cause I'm a nice guy. 165 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,772 Who exactly would you fire? 166 00:07:40,884 --> 00:07:43,334 Not me, right? I just adopted a labradoodle. 167 00:07:43,428 --> 00:07:45,454 Ooh, let's fire Irv. He's gonna get us killed. 168 00:07:45,554 --> 00:07:46,785 That's great. 169 00:07:46,864 --> 00:07:48,851 I'll go to the hospital right now and fire him. 170 00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:52,155 Rocking idea, boss man. Now we can get our pretzel on. 171 00:07:52,278 --> 00:07:54,636 How about you get your hard hat on, and you get 172 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:57,412 your back to work on, and I'll see you guys at lunch? 173 00:07:57,501 --> 00:07:59,831 Ooh, the whistle blows, and suddenly we're pals. 174 00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:03,385 Unh-unh, suit. We're going someplace else for lunch. 175 00:08:03,474 --> 00:08:06,245 Someplace with pretzels. 176 00:08:06,712 --> 00:08:07,638 And freedom. 177 00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:15,561 I thought you were just taking us sneaker shopping. 178 00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:17,299 You lied. You're a big liar! 179 00:08:17,384 --> 00:08:19,300 Yeah, well, I thought you would be so grateful 180 00:08:19,384 --> 00:08:21,107 for your new sneakers, that you'd understand 181 00:08:21,175 --> 00:08:24,135 if I need to make one little stop for myself. 182 00:08:24,223 --> 00:08:26,727 You don't know me at all! 183 00:08:26,862 --> 00:08:29,776 Excuse me? Hi. 184 00:08:29,856 --> 00:08:33,167 I'm looking for something to clean the sticky gunk off my tv. 185 00:08:33,288 --> 00:08:35,206 Uh, sure. Screen cleaners are right over here. 186 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,644 Oh. And, um, also, 187 00:08:36,728 --> 00:08:40,523 there's this yellow glowing blob in the inside of the screen, 188 00:08:40,609 --> 00:08:42,421 but not on channels 2 and 5 189 00:08:42,515 --> 00:08:44,495 and sometimes there's these lines that go across, 190 00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,439 but sometimes they go up and down, 191 00:08:46,507 --> 00:08:48,640 but those go away when I'm running the microwave, 192 00:08:48,743 --> 00:08:50,543 but the microwave doesn't work unless I'm shooting 193 00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:53,154 the hair dryer at it. You have something for that? 194 00:08:53,290 --> 00:08:56,234 Yes, we do. It's called a new tv. 195 00:08:56,327 --> 00:09:00,838 Hey. I'm "on-air." How do I look? 196 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,378 Wow. 197 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,468 It's true. The camera does add 10 pounds of dork. Heh-heh. 198 00:09:07,908 --> 00:09:11,105 Look, I'm in sales, too, so if you think you're gonna 199 00:09:11,177 --> 00:09:13,949 sucker me into buying something I don't need, guess again. 200 00:09:14,044 --> 00:09:16,405 I just need something for the yellow blob and the sideways 201 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,998 lines sometimes up and down, and I'll be on my way. 202 00:09:19,074 --> 00:09:19,937 Excuse me. 203 00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:22,843 Yeah, I got this a week ago, and... 204 00:09:22,936 --> 00:09:24,846 I don't know. I just don't like it. 205 00:09:24,936 --> 00:09:27,214 Um, returns are right over there, sir, 206 00:09:27,302 --> 00:09:28,378 and you know our motto, 207 00:09:28,445 --> 00:09:31,113 "if you ain't happy, we ain't happy, no questions asked." 208 00:09:31,161 --> 00:09:35,593 So he can just return it like that? 209 00:09:35,772 --> 00:09:38,499 Yeah. We have a 14-day "any reason" return policy. 210 00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:40,973 Wow, that is so nice of you. 211 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,824 Okay, wait. So let's say I buy a tv 212 00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:46,918 and I ain't happy for, you know, whatever reason, after... 213 00:09:46,997 --> 00:09:50,836 Friday--just picking a random day--I can return it? 214 00:09:50,913 --> 00:09:53,600 Yep. Just a $25 restocking fee. 215 00:09:53,698 --> 00:09:58,763 Hold the phone! HDMI 1.4? 216 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,002 You know, you guys should put that bigger on your tag. 217 00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:01,735 I'll take it! 218 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,453 Great. I'll see if we have any in stock. 219 00:10:03,553 --> 00:10:06,232 Okay. Oh, wow. 220 00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:11,603 Mom. What are you doing? That tv costs $3,000! 221 00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,690 Shh! It's just for the royal wedding. 222 00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,009 But that's stealing. 223 00:10:15,107 --> 00:10:18,914 No. It's borrowing. I'm paying $25 to borrow it. 224 00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:21,886 So just be cool. You know what? Be over there. 225 00:10:23,836 --> 00:10:26,297 Good news. One left. 226 00:10:26,396 --> 00:10:29,123 Great. Now what credit card are we putting this on today? 227 00:10:29,231 --> 00:10:31,950 Um... actually, we were thinking about 228 00:10:32,029 --> 00:10:34,349 opening one of your store cards for our son. 229 00:10:34,464 --> 00:10:37,044 He's employed and extremely responsible. 230 00:10:41,342 --> 00:10:43,229 He's pre-med. We're very proud. 231 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,087 It's just so big. 232 00:10:49,193 --> 00:10:51,727 Kind of overpowers the room, huh? 233 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,213 I love it! 234 00:10:55,136 --> 00:10:56,166 All right. Give me the remote. 235 00:10:56,252 --> 00:10:58,523 Let's find Cinemax and get this hi-def skank train going. 236 00:10:58,610 --> 00:10:59,928 No, I need to watch the news. 237 00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:02,884 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. No one watches anything. 238 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,706 This is only for the royal wedding, then it goes back. 239 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,029 So till then, no one watches it, touches it, 240 00:11:07,113 --> 00:11:08,544 or even gets within a 3-foot radius. 241 00:11:10,155 --> 00:11:13,107 Dad? Look what Axl got with his credit card. It's just 242 00:11:13,188 --> 00:11:15,736 for the royal wedding, then I'm returning it right after. 243 00:11:15,845 --> 00:11:19,071 They have a policy. "If I ain't happy, they ain't happy." 244 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,769 What if I ain't happy? 245 00:11:20,893 --> 00:11:23,602 Frankie, something that nice can't survive here. 246 00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:26,261 This is where things come to break. Look around, woman. 247 00:11:26,329 --> 00:11:28,088 We can't make toast without a screwdriver. 248 00:11:28,164 --> 00:11:32,255 Oh, please. Nothing's gonna happ-- 249 00:11:32,975 --> 00:11:34,627 3-foot radius! 250 00:11:38,362 --> 00:11:41,710 "I'm Sue Heck, and that's what the Heck's going on." 251 00:11:44,941 --> 00:11:45,685 Good luck. 252 00:11:46,451 --> 00:11:48,891 Wait. That wasn't a "good luck" good luck. 253 00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:52,336 That was a "there's something wrong" good luck. Tell me. 254 00:11:52,418 --> 00:11:54,574 Okay, you want honest or polite? 255 00:11:54,655 --> 00:11:57,364 Well, I wanted polite, but now that you said that, 256 00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:59,678 I guess I'll take honest. 257 00:11:59,791 --> 00:12:02,892 You blinked too much, and about halfway in, you slurred an "s." 258 00:12:03,003 --> 00:12:04,719 And you didn't gesture enough. 259 00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:07,746 Plus, you were kind of mumbly on your nouns, but on verbs, 260 00:12:07,822 --> 00:12:09,398 you were even shakier... 261 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:12,054 And that's how a little mnemonic device like "news" 262 00:12:12,176 --> 00:12:13,205 ballooned into... 263 00:12:13,302 --> 00:12:15,042 "Newsbenjiverts." 264 00:12:15,131 --> 00:12:18,581 My brother came up with "news," but I came up with "benjiverts." 265 00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:21,551 Now our third and final candidate, Sue hickey. 266 00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:24,726 That's when Sue introduced the world to "newsbenjiverts." 267 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,896 "B" for "blink less"... 268 00:12:27,004 --> 00:12:29,723 Happy Thursday, fellow shuckers. 269 00:12:29,842 --> 00:12:31,489 "E" for "enunciate"... 270 00:12:31,569 --> 00:12:35,184 The flooded auditorium-uh 271 00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:36,671 will be drain-uh-d 272 00:12:36,784 --> 00:12:40,630 in time for the spring muh-usical. 273 00:12:40,745 --> 00:12:42,825 "N" for nodding... And kudos 274 00:12:42,956 --> 00:12:47,810 to the girls soccer team for defeating the other team 275 00:12:47,932 --> 00:12:48,935 from... 276 00:12:49,172 --> 00:12:51,655 And who could forget "v" for "very big gestures"? 277 00:12:51,783 --> 00:12:56,298 I'm Sue Heck, and that's what the Heck's go-- 278 00:12:56,394 --> 00:12:57,660 On. Cut to black! Cut to black! 279 00:13:02,878 --> 00:13:03,576 Mr. Heck? 280 00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:06,364 Phil Bickel, quarry workers 703. 281 00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,444 I'm here about the pretzel situation. 282 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,765 I don't think so. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 283 00:13:10,845 --> 00:13:12,986 Either we talk or they walk. 284 00:13:13,099 --> 00:13:14,784 A strike? 285 00:13:14,889 --> 00:13:17,440 'Cause I got rid of pretzels and fancy toilet paper? 286 00:13:17,539 --> 00:13:19,919 Ohh, that's what's different. 287 00:13:20,071 --> 00:13:22,845 Okay. I can give back the pretzels... Uh-huh. 288 00:13:22,938 --> 00:13:24,537 And, uh, get rid of their health insurance. 289 00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:31,387 No dice. They want health insurance and pretzels. 290 00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:34,174 And the TP Yeah, give it back! 291 00:13:34,373 --> 00:13:37,974 Pretzels! Pretzels! Pretzels! Pretzels! 292 00:13:38,094 --> 00:13:39,856 Sure. Let's bring back pretzels, 293 00:13:39,933 --> 00:13:44,478 and, uh, we can lose stuff like, say... paychecks. 294 00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:47,040 Says Mr. giant new tv. 295 00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:50,440 That's right. I drove by your place last night. 296 00:13:50,531 --> 00:13:55,288 What? Have you been misappropriating snack funds for personal gain? 297 00:13:55,405 --> 00:13:59,334 Personal gain? I had to push my car to work this morning! 298 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,228 That's it. 299 00:14:00,323 --> 00:14:02,913 No pretzels. End of story. Everyone get back to work. 300 00:14:03,011 --> 00:14:07,359 Okay--all ri--okay, guys. We lost out on the pretzels, 301 00:14:07,452 --> 00:14:09,885 but we stuck it to him on the insurance and the paychecks. 302 00:14:09,989 --> 00:14:11,844 Don't forget me come election time. 303 00:14:11,949 --> 00:14:14,329 Hey, how about a group photo for the newsletter? 304 00:14:14,410 --> 00:14:17,654 Okay. I'll just get a, uh, shot of your backs, then. 305 00:14:19,143 --> 00:14:22,712 It's only six hours away. 306 00:14:22,830 --> 00:14:25,230 I wonder what she's doing right now. 307 00:14:25,306 --> 00:14:27,594 Is her heart pounding? I'll bet it's pounding, 308 00:14:27,682 --> 00:14:29,604 'cause mine's about to pound right out of my chest. 309 00:14:29,707 --> 00:14:32,325 Mom, I'm sorry, but there is 310 00:14:32,408 --> 00:14:34,991 no way I can watch the news coverage of the wedding, 311 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:36,590 after all that I've been through. 312 00:14:36,689 --> 00:14:38,949 I can barely look at a microphone without crying... 313 00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:41,169 Brick. 314 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,084 Hey, how is it my fault? 315 00:14:43,151 --> 00:14:44,570 You over-directed me. 316 00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:48,272 I did "newsbenjiverts," and people thought I was insane. 317 00:14:48,368 --> 00:14:50,451 I even got called down to the guidance counselor. 318 00:14:50,513 --> 00:14:54,149 Well, I warned you not to try out. Oh, but-- 319 00:14:54,219 --> 00:14:57,086 Hey! There is no fighting on royal wedding Eve! 320 00:15:02,331 --> 00:15:04,645 Hey, where are my scones? 321 00:15:05,473 --> 00:15:06,176 Mike! 322 00:15:06,286 --> 00:15:07,920 What? I didn't know. 323 00:15:08,004 --> 00:15:11,658 I did you a favor, anyway. They're stale and dry. 324 00:15:11,762 --> 00:15:15,045 They're supposed to be stale and dry. They're British. 325 00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:17,415 All right, never mind. Now I'm going to bed, 326 00:15:17,524 --> 00:15:19,492 so if you have to yell at the kids, take 'em outside. 327 00:15:19,574 --> 00:15:22,063 I don't want to yell at the kids alone. 328 00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:23,770 That's something we enjoy doing together. 329 00:15:24,065 --> 00:15:25,640 Well, sorry, but coverage starts at 3:00am 330 00:15:25,733 --> 00:15:27,614 by the time you're eating your toast or waffles, 331 00:15:27,692 --> 00:15:29,857 the world will have a new princess. 332 00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:32,266 Seriously, how can you not be moved by that? 333 00:15:38,181 --> 00:15:39,742 Don't bother looking for the remote. 334 00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:41,028 I'm taking it to bed with me. 335 00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:45,055 The wait was finally over. 336 00:15:45,142 --> 00:15:46,958 Time to see what this bad boy could do. 337 00:15:54,294 --> 00:15:56,389 Oh... no, no, no. 338 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,238 Turn on. 339 00:15:58,484 --> 00:16:01,254 Turn on--you got to be kidding me! 340 00:16:01,359 --> 00:16:03,816 Where is the button? 341 00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:09,159 Mike! Axl! Brick! Sue! 342 00:16:09,244 --> 00:16:10,785 Everybody up! I need your help! 343 00:16:10,923 --> 00:16:14,942 Why am I awake you know I need a solid 16. 344 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,578 Axl, that is not for you! 345 00:16:18,648 --> 00:16:19,862 Brick, read faster! 346 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:22,408 There it goes. 347 00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:25,094 Oh! Thank God! Okay, you can all go back to bed. 348 00:16:28,258 --> 00:16:30,158 Wait! It's not turning channels. Come back! 349 00:16:30,271 --> 00:16:31,370 Come on. Come back! 350 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,506 What's all the screaming? Is Justin Bieber dead? 351 00:16:37,619 --> 00:16:39,540 I am missing the royal wedding. There's something wrong 352 00:16:39,602 --> 00:16:42,123 with this stupid tv. Here. Keep hitting "2." 353 00:16:47,481 --> 00:16:48,150 Anything? 354 00:16:48,228 --> 00:16:48,891 No. 355 00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:53,726 Brick, that's not for you! 356 00:16:53,821 --> 00:16:57,794 Here. Change, damn it, change! 357 00:16:57,899 --> 00:17:01,100 Whoa. Sports in hi-def are sweet. 358 00:17:01,191 --> 00:17:03,148 Ooh. Dad, remember this game? 359 00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:04,566 This is right when they start their comeback. 360 00:17:04,687 --> 00:17:06,471 Yeah, this is a good one. Here comes the qb sneak. 361 00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:09,263 Bust it through... No! 362 00:17:09,344 --> 00:17:13,084 No! You are not watching this game! This tv is for me! 363 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:18,069 It's 3:49! I'm missing it all! 364 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,505 The arrival at westminster abbey... 365 00:17:20,590 --> 00:17:22,792 The pronouncement by the lord rector... 366 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:24,759 What? 367 00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:27,285 Rector. 368 00:17:27,696 --> 00:17:30,879 Oh, you think this is funny? Is this all some sort of joke? 369 00:17:30,989 --> 00:17:33,572 Come on, Frankie. Lighten up. No! 370 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:35,969 You lighten up! 371 00:17:36,071 --> 00:17:38,970 All you've done this past week is smirk 372 00:17:39,085 --> 00:17:42,468 and laugh and make fun of me, and what have I done for you? 373 00:17:42,550 --> 00:17:47,158 Wipe your snot, carry your vomit, take you sneaker shopping 374 00:17:47,246 --> 00:17:48,785 because your old ones weren't awesome enough! 375 00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:52,624 How dare mom ever want anything for herself? 376 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:56,194 To celebrate that a girl could start the day as a commoner 377 00:17:56,606 --> 00:17:57,811 and end it as a princess. 378 00:17:57,921 --> 00:18:00,131 "Oh, ha ha. It's stupid. It doesn't matter." 379 00:18:00,377 --> 00:18:01,949 Well, it matters to me! 380 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:03,069 Yeah. 381 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,483 And I don't have to explain it or justify it to any of you. 382 00:18:06,558 --> 00:18:09,059 That's right. There's no historical significance. 383 00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,891 I just think it's pretty! 384 00:18:10,977 --> 00:18:15,223 Jeez, Frankie, calm down. You're getting all bloodshot. Oh, no. 385 00:18:15,334 --> 00:18:19,830 You just don't get the needs of the common people, do you, Mike? 386 00:18:19,939 --> 00:18:23,173 Pretzels aren't important. Royal weddings aren't important. 387 00:18:23,225 --> 00:18:25,439 Oh, not like football! 388 00:18:25,532 --> 00:18:30,353 Do I talk smack about all this colts stuff that you get? 389 00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:33,075 No. But I buy one little plate, 390 00:18:33,142 --> 00:18:36,268 and suddenly, I'm crazy! I'm obsessed-- 391 00:18:45,809 --> 00:18:49,114 God. Who knew she cared so much about the royal wedding? 392 00:18:49,203 --> 00:18:50,211 She should have said something. 393 00:18:54,731 --> 00:18:55,723 Frankie. 394 00:18:55,817 --> 00:18:57,353 What? We fixed the tv. 395 00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:00,303 Just in time for the parade of beefeaters. 396 00:19:00,398 --> 00:19:02,912 Beefeaters. 397 00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,569 Really? 398 00:19:04,688 --> 00:19:06,363 Ohh! Nasty! 399 00:19:07,499 --> 00:19:08,391 Wait. I can't see. 400 00:19:08,486 --> 00:19:11,438 Why can't I see? Frankie, you're a little crusty there. 401 00:19:11,523 --> 00:19:14,301 Looks like you might have gotten pinkeye or something. 402 00:19:14,365 --> 00:19:16,248 What? How could I get pinkeye? 403 00:19:23,389 --> 00:19:25,486 Oh! 3-d! Ha ha! 404 00:19:25,584 --> 00:19:30,268 I'm blind! Why is this happening to me? 405 00:19:30,357 --> 00:19:33,051 All I wanted was to have tea and scones, 406 00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:35,720 and watch the royal wedding, and now I can't open my eyes, 407 00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:39,007 and--ahh, my tears can't even get out. 408 00:19:42,284 --> 00:19:44,701 Now she's going into the church, and a woman-- 409 00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:50,707 Scratch that, a man in a wig-- is holding her... cape. 410 00:19:50,850 --> 00:19:52,906 Oh, her bridal train. 411 00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:55,063 What color's the dress? White or ivory? 412 00:19:55,157 --> 00:19:59,293 The entire royal family has gathered. 413 00:19:59,393 --> 00:20:00,003 Ivory. 414 00:20:00,102 --> 00:20:02,409 Ohh... and what about her sleeves? Are they poufy? 415 00:20:02,523 --> 00:20:05,183 I guess maybe you could call 'em poufy. 416 00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:08,843 And there's some kind of glittery deal going on. 417 00:20:09,980 --> 00:20:12,722 Hey, mom, you really can't see anything? 418 00:20:12,902 --> 00:20:14,375 Not a thing. 419 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:20,127 Here. I felt bad, so I glued your plate back together. 420 00:20:22,282 --> 00:20:24,997 Can't even feel the cracks. 421 00:20:26,943 --> 00:20:29,103 Yeah, you can be cynical all you want, but truth is, 422 00:20:29,169 --> 00:20:31,496 fairy tales happen every day. 423 00:20:31,604 --> 00:20:33,960 Princes really do exist... 424 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,442 So now she's waving to the crowd. 425 00:20:38,097 --> 00:20:39,384 They both look pretty happy. 426 00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:40,783 When something wonderful happens, 427 00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:42,696 cheers ring out across the land... 428 00:20:42,799 --> 00:20:44,319 Yeah! 429 00:20:44,457 --> 00:20:45,934 Wishes do come true... 430 00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:48,240 Is this your handwriting? It's really good. 431 00:20:48,301 --> 00:20:52,868 And there really is such a thing as happily ever after. 432 00:20:52,959 --> 00:20:54,736 So now they're coming out on the balcony... 433 00:20:56,402 --> 00:20:57,455 And--oh, they're kissing. 434 00:20:57,536 --> 00:21:01,172 Ohh. Is it a soft kiss or a deep kiss? Describe it to me. 435 00:21:01,258 --> 00:21:03,078 Aw, Frankie... 436 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:07,678 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0